Ask Winter – Advice Column

Dear Winter,

I caught my boyfriend lying to me — I saw on his phone that he had been texting his ex girlfriend. When I confronted him he said that he hadn’t talked to her since their break up. I want to break up with him. What do I do?

Dear Sneaky,

First off, going through his phone probably wasn’t the most trusting thing to do. Besides, you don’t know what he was contacting her for. He could have been asking her for some of his stuff back…you don’t know. Second, if you confronted him by just going to him and straight up asking him, you’re portraying the stereotype of the “crazy girlfriend” who doesn’t trust her boyfriend. Try asking him to sit down and talk about it, ask him if he would mind telling you why he was speaking with her. If he denies it more or doesn’t want to talk about it then you may have a reason to worry. But also you should remember that you are in a relationship that is based off trust. Assess the situation and decide based on how you feel about the relationship and where it is going.

Hope this helps 🙂

Winter

 

 

 

 

Hey Winter,

I have a really close friend and we do almost everything together. But lately, she seems to be more controlling of our activities and conversations and this bugs me. How can I tell her this without ending the friendship?

Dear Bothered,

Honestly, I’m dealing with a friend like this too. Ever since she got her license, she’s been deciding where we go, what we do, and when we do it. Then when I ask her if we can do something else, she’ll say that she’s tired or just wants to go home. I have even caught her talking to other friends about me because I wanted to go to the beach instead of the mall. Friends can be hard to deal with sometimes but it is important that you take a step back and look at your friendship. Is it just a phase that your friend is going through? Or is there something significant happening in their life that could be permanently changing them? It sounds like it’s time for you to decide whether this friendship is worth it or not.

Hope this helps 🙂

Winter

 

 

 

Dear Winter,

My parents just broke up. Suddenly the structure in my life is totally different, in some good ways and many bad ways. I barely remember feeling secure and confident about the future. I’m a good faker, so most of my friends barely notice the change. Lately the only things that help are the distractions. How can I find that peace in life before I’m caught in this downward spiral? What keeps you from feeling empty at times like this?

Dear Broken,

First, you need to take a deep breath…….okay now: music. My way of avoiding that empty feeling is to listen to music as constantly as possible. I find that if it’s silent, I end up thinking about the cruelty and unfairness of my situation.You should definitely try finding things that make you feel secure again. You can join some type of team and mainstream that time into getting better at whatever it is, like dance or basketball. Confidence is something I find that can be a personal choice. If you aren’t confident because of other people, ignore them. If it’s how you look, change it so you like how you look. Get a haircut or try a different clothing style. As the old saying says ‘when you look good, you feel good’. Life is going to get hard and the best thing to do is keep your head up!

Hope this helps 🙂

Winter

 

 

 

 

Hi Winter,

I’ve been driving my friend around all year, and she recently got her license. But now she asks for gas money whenever she drives, and tries to get out of using her car whenever possible. It’s so unfair! How do I deal with her?

Dear Frustrated,

It sounds like she is just not aware of what she is doing. It may be best for you to voice your opinion and try to find a way to equal things out. It sounds like you are being taken advantage of and that’s not okay. You can ask her for gas money when you drive her somewhere, let her know that you would like to use her car every once in a while, and maybe even ask her to pay you back for some of the past year that you’ve driven her around. She may be annoyed that you’re asking all of a sudden, but make sure to explain to her that gas isn’t cheap!! Try to find a solution to the problem without creating any problems and you should be good.

Hope this helps 🙂

Winter