Sienna Miller | Writer
April 1, 2023
Republican Marjorie Taylor Greene went outside on March 28th, 2023, and felt drizzle*. She said she “knew climate change all had to be the Chinese propaganda when the first raindrop fell.” She explained that she felt “a gust of wind and saw that a cloud was hovering over [her], begging [her] to tell the world the truth, the real truth.’’
Witnesses say they saw her running frantically toward the city, with just her pajamas and a cup of coffee in hand. She sprinted for over 50 miles until she finally reached the nearest Fox News outlet because she knew that they were the only journalists who had absolutely no bias, just telling the facts.
Although some may have thought her to be a lunatic, Fox News graciously made an exception and told her story for nothing but the sake of the truth.
She aired on Fox News television at 4:30 pm. Greene explained the events that occurred to her that morning to broadcaster Tucker Carlson.
“Yes, Tucker, I was standing there, and all of a sudden a splash of water fell right on my very own nose, see! I found out it was raining!”
“WOW, that’s revolutionary! What does this mean for our world? What do we have to worry about?”
“Absolutely nothing! This ‘Global Warming’ that Hollywood liberals buy into is simply just to brainwash the youth. It’s colder outside than it was yesterday, so how can our earth be getting dangerously warmer?”
Scientists began to head over to the news station as they watched her breakthrough, and they found out for themselves that there was in fact a raindrop on her! James Hansen, “The Father of Climate Change”, couldn’t even deny the hard proof that Greene had before him. Hansen withdrew his claims that the climate is in jeopardy on March 29th, the following day.
Although he regretted his wrongfully made theories, Hansen was arrested for faulty mass hysteria. Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene officially won the Nobel Prize on April 1st, 2023 for disproving a scientific fact.
*This article is satire for our April Fool’s edition and is meant for entertainment only.
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