Inspired by Wisconsin’s Stand against Inclusion, other States move towards banning the presentation of rainbows as a whole

April Fools Satire Articles, Arts/Entertainment

RAINBOWS: a soon-to-be-banned symbol in schools across the country. *rainbowbeuty.com*

Ava Miller| Opinion Editor

April 1, 2023

“Rainbowland,” a duet by the iconic Miley Cyrus and Dolly Parton, was banned in a Wisconsin school district after the first-grade class pursued singing it at their spring concert. Wisconsin has been the first state to legally take action against the reference to rainbows as they fear the symbol of the rainbow will encourage LGBTQ acceptance. The state has acted as a trailblazer in the problem as many states including Florida and Texas, the poster child of anti- LGBTQ+ movements, are now also taking legal action to ban not only the song but rainbows from their school district completely.

No, it is not just the pride flag schools are prohibiting. It is the very sight of rainbows*. The laws are vague, as completely limiting the iconic colors ROYGBIV would be difficult and would require much rebranding in schools.

ALBUM COVER of Miley Cyrus’s song “Rainbowland” *USA Today*

One thing is made certain. No rainbows, or objects resembling rainbows, will be drawn by anybody in kindergarten and up. The action of drawing a rainbow would convey that, like the song says, “We are rainbows, me and you Every color, every hue Let’s shine on through” . Schools are ment to be a place of strictly learning and brainwashing. They are a tool to transfer government ideals against inclusion onto young children so they in turn can grow up to be hateful of others different than them. Why would we want kids to grow up “Living in a Rainbowland The skies are blue and things are grand” ? So, the most logical way to fix issues in education and the United States is prohibiting rainbows due to the fear that they represent inclusion. In America, inclusion and diversity pose the biggest threat.

An increase of inclusion and diversity has been seen throught workplaces and in the media through recent years. Banning rainbow images in school will stop this at the source: the future generation aka school aged kids. We don’t need new ideas to build and progress the future of the United States, we need more racist, sexist, and homophobic rich white men. States have their fingers crossed that combating inclusion and diversity will do just that. Cheers to another 236 years of predominantly white rich men functioning the American democracy!

*This article is satire for our April Fool’s edition and is meant for entertainment only.