SCHS Advice Column

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By Carly Watts | Writer

October 23, 2015

My friends are complaining that I’ve been spending too much time with my bf & not enough with them. I’ve been so busy with school, there’s just not enough hours in the day. Help! – Tasha, sophomore

Hi Tasha,

I can see where you’re friends are coming from and I encourage you to communicate with them. I see that they feel left out and “forgotten about” because you are starting to grow up and are onto a new chapter in your life. I believe that they don’t understand this quite yet because they haven’t experienced it themselves. A healthy relationship with friends and a significant other consists of space, understanding, and forgiveness. What I have learned with past experience and insight from others relationships is that you can’t forget about the life you had before this new person came into it. All of your family and friends that have been there from the beginning aren’t worth losing to someone who seems to be “better” and who will give you new experiences. Hangout with your friends just as often as you would hang out with your boyfriend to ensure strong friendships and a healthy relationship. Too much of time with your boyfriend could possibly lead to him getting sick of you, fighting, and the “flame” of attraction for each other will start to burn out. If you continue to ignore your friends, you’re teaching them to learn to live without you, and once they’ve had enough they’ll be gone and they won’t come back. They will remember they weren’t important enough to you in the first place. Remember that not all relationships last, so if something happens and you two break up, you won’t have anyone but yourself because you forgot about the people who loved and cared for you from the start. If you choose to take my advice, put school first, then balance a schedule to make both of them happy, while keeping your life drama, and care free.

Carly

 

My best friend’s think it’s funny to record a nerdy kid from our class & post it on their Snapchat story making fun at him for simply just being himself, it really bothers me. Should I confront them about it? If so, how? – Melody, freshman

Hi Melody,

I admire you for your concern about the situation. I understand that what you see bothers you, and that’s great because it is a huge form of bullying, harassment, and is legally a crime. Not only is it wrong, it shows their bad judgment and character, and who they are as people. I encourage you to stand up for him or anybody undergoing this situation because it is so wrong, and if they found out I’m sure it’d be hard to deal with. I suggest talking to your friends, give them your insight on the situation and inform them on what they are doing and if they were caught what it could lead to. If they blow you off and say “it’s not a big deal” or they won’t stop, i encourage you to report them to someone of higher authority ie: (a teacher, or administrator). Once the boy finds out that you stood up for him, and you weren’t just another bystander, he will appreciate what you’ve done for him and so will anyone else who wishes somebody like you took a stand to harassment and bullying. In today’s society, it seems that nobody is safe, and bullying and harassment are on the rise faster than ever. I wouldn’t care if I lost my friends or anybody else over standing up for somebody because in the big picture you look like the bigger person, a hero, and a good person. I encourage you to surround yourself with positive people because that will lead to a healthy lifestyle.

Carly

 

All of my guy friends are obsessed with designer clothes and getting “big gains”. How do I tell them to get over themselves? – Vanessa, senior

Hi Vanessa, I feel it’s your personal opinion on whether or not you like the way they dress and how they want to be more “big”, but I think you should let them do what they want to do. This “trend” seems to be the “new big thing” and I would let them figure it out on their own how they look doing it. I believe that it’s nobody’s right to judge and they should have no say on what someone chooses to wear or how they want to take care of themselves. It’s the right thing to do to keep your opinion to yourself and to let them do what makes them happy, no matter what is is. If you still feel the need to say something, even though it’s wrong and hurtful, you can tell them that they don’t need designer clothes or muscles for people to like them, and that they should continue to just be themselves and the right person will come along and like them for who they are whenever the time is right.

Carly

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