By: Lang Csira | Writer
December 28, ‘360
Dear Diary,
I am 16 and they are close. I dreamt of the Dokimes again last night. I am so excited. I know it will be big and scary and all. I know I am only starting it but I cannot wait to get out of here…a place they call “special training”. In my dream, it wasn’t that hard. I was finally with all of my friends and special training was paying off. Hopefully my dreams become reality.
December 29, ‘360
Dear Diary,
We went and got my uniform today. It’s tight, but my mom says it will stretch since I will wear it all the time. I haven’t taken it off since we left the store. There were so many people there! I got the last uniform in my size and I was so scared but I guess we got there just in time.
December 30, ‘360
Dear Diary,
I got home so late after initiation. There were so many amazing things happening. I could have given a better speech than that old guy with the good hair, though. He was at least 150 but could have been older. But the spirit there was absolutely enthralling. I cannot wait to be a part of such a welcoming community. This is my last night at home and I know I am going to miss my family but I think I will make a new family at the Dokimes. I should get sleep because I know tomorrow will be exhausting, but I just can’t sleep I am so excited! The facility used for initiation was actually on campus! We were not allowed to leave to see other buildings though. There were guards at the doors to make sure we didn’t try to escape. That was weird… The building we were in looked newer, and more stable than the surrounding ones – but I could only see them from the outside. I wish I could have looked around, but maybe they want it to be a surprise? I don’t know but I cannot wait for tomorrow. I am ready for everything they throw at me, I just know it.
January 1, ‘361
Dear Diary,
Nothing looked like the initiation building. It scared me to be inside all of those ancient structures. One kid was punished for not running with proper form in track. I do not know what happened to him when they took him outside, but he did not look the same when he came back. It was as if the instructor had drained the poor kid of his enthusiasm. He should have run properly.
January 5, ‘361
Dear Diary,
I was not ready.
January 23, ‘361
Dear Diary,
I was better prepared for this than anyone else. The most elite training academy in the district couldn’t even churn out a kid prepared for the Dokimes. How does anyone survive this?
March 11, ‘361
Dear Diary,
If my parents, my grandparents, and their parents passed, the same should happen unto me. I have begun extra practice between tests to improve my throw with my off arm. It is a weakness. I do not sleep. I hardly eat. I have lost weight and it is improving my agility and speed, but I am not sure how much longer I can last.
March 30, ‘361
Dear Diary,
I am sick. I cannot move. I had to take a day off to sleep and recover. I will lose points and it will decrease my chances of passing. I had to. Mom and Dad would be so disappointed, but I had to. Why do we even have to do this? Why am I here? All of these tests, I cannot take another lifeless, pointless one of them. I have to do something.
April 13, ‘361
Dear Diary,
He is a godsend. If it were not for Draven, I would have quit. He is now my only reason to push on. He is my encouragement and I his. Thank God for Draven. Thank God for Draven.
April 20, ‘361
Dear Diary,
I beat the record for longest run in 24 hours! Draven, I owe it all to you.
June 2, ‘361
Dear Diary,
I fell so Draven could climb. He only used me. Now I do not know what matters. So what if I give up and live a slave? None of it matters. It’s all pointless.
June 3, ‘361
Dear Diary,
I do not know who to talk to anymore, so I will talk to you. Everyone is fake. They are not my friends because they care for me, but for themselves. F*** them. I cannot stay here, daring to do more and more perilous things, pushing myself faster and faster, sleeping less and less. I have actually become slower. I have lost all ambition. People here are only cruel and nothing else. I do not want to be a part of this anymore.
June 4, ‘361
Dear Diary,
Another few refused to get up this morning. They were booted. It is June, which means we have all made it far enough to avoid execution and help decrease population. Now all booted become slaves. Must be nice.
June 5, ‘361
Dear Diary,
It is Father’s birthday. I miss him.
June 6, ‘361
Dear Diary,
5 months and I leave
July 16, ‘361
Dear Diary,
I cannot fail the final. I have come this far. I must train harder. I have no choice. 4 months more
August 8, ‘361
Dear Diary,
I have not slept in days. I am living on the caffeine. I do not taste anymore, so I eat what fuels me best, however it tastes. 3 months
September 5, ‘361
Dear Diary,
I have begun training with a select few others. I do not know their names. We do not talk. We train. 2 months
October 10, ‘361
Dear Diary,
one. month.
October 31, ‘361
Dear Diary,
I cannot do this. I cannot take the final. There is no way I can pass. I cannot sleep. I cannot think. I can only move mindlessly. The officials are already here. They are like robots. I saw. Soulless. They only see straight ahead. They do not see people.
April 19. ‘476
Dear Diary,
I never thought I would see you again. They took you when I graduated the Dokimes. Now I am back, burning in Hell with you. Good luck to those graded by me, Official Sklira Apsychos Durum. You need it.
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