Anthony Wu | Head Editor
March 10, 2023
It’s back to that time of year where San Clemente High students are gearing-up to stalk, backstab, and assassinate their opponents in a game that gives no protection to brains or brawn.
The rules of the game are simple.
Everyone is assigned a single target to kill with a water-gun, with immunity laid for school, home, or wearing goggles and inflated floaties. A video of the assassination is recorded and posted to Instagram, and the moment someone is dead, their assassin takes on the target of the deceased.
After seven days, the three-day nightmare known as the purge officially begins. If someone has not yet made a kill, they’re now on the purge list. During the purge, there are no longer any assigned targets, but those on the purge list can be killed by anyone.
To get off the purge list, you must kill two others and survive the purge. If you fail to kill two people or get the squirt-squirt, sorry bud, you’re dead.
Once the purge ends, people are assigned a new target, and the game will continue in such fashion until one person is left standing.
Perhaps the enlightened reader will ask why someone would voluntarily enter into a game where they get stocked for a month and then squirted in the face with a water-gun on video. Well, it’s rather simple.
With a $10 entry-fee and hundreds of seniors participating, the prize pool gets big, fast. Currently, 1st place is set to win $1,705, with $775 also going to the assassin with the most kills and $310 for the best kill. It’s one of those rare opportunities where you can potentially win some money and pretend to be like James Bond–and who doesn’t want to be like Mr. Bond.
While many just want to make the most out of their senior year and have some fun, some are playing as if they’re banking on it to pay for college. “I’ve seen people in the gym with floaties,” said senior Luke Hawkins, “and I’ve been wearing them wherever I go.”
It’s hard to overstate the lengths people will go to catch their target. Finding out someone’s house address, where they work, or where they’re going on a Friday night are all routine business. In order to win, you must build an informal spy network that will help you kill your target and unmask your own headhunter. But as with all spy networks, double agents abound and everyone is trying to further themselves at the expense of the ignorant. “Even among people’s own friend groups, people will leak someone’s address or where they work,” said Luke.
Backstabbing, deception, and false rumors spread like wildfire through the ranks of the senior class, and nowhere else will you find the teachings of Machiavelli more relevant than in assassin.
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