Hannah Eberle | A&E Editor
April 1, 2023
San Clemente High School students have increasingly reported hearing damage and even temporary hearing loss after constantly being harassed by supervisors’ whistles. When entering the quad or parking lots on campus, students are met with shrieking, high-pitched whistles. In fact, it is rare that a student makes it through a single passing period without being assaulted with an over-eager whistle-yielding staff member. This constant torment has now been linked to a significant decline in student ear health at SCHS.
Some triton staff members are clearly justified in their frequent whistle use, for example, coaches, but supervisors have taken it to another level. Morgan Mack, head of ASB Activities complained “I have noticed a significant decline in my hearing. My ears are constantly ringing, it never ends!” Many students like Morgan have had a hard time focusing in class due to the trauma they incurred from the incessant whistles. Recent studies have shown that noise pollution created by proctors is the number one leading distraction from adolescent studies.
Appropriate whistle use by staff members, like a coach needing to gain their team’s attention, is completely acceptable. In contrast, many students find the supervisors’ use of whistles to be quite extreme and the consequences can be severe. Senior Nathan Clark reported suffering a ruptured eardrum after wandering too close to a supervisor who decided to blow with all their might in an effort to shepherd students to class. High school is the time when students start to become young adults, so when are they going to be treated as such?
Supervisors have been using whistles to gain students’ attention since elementary school, but is this really the best method? Not only have students reported hearing damage, but they have also reported symptoms of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Senior Brad Wellikson shared, “I feel like a zoo animal being corralled back into his enclosure. I have been waking up in the middle of the night in cold sweats after having terrible nightmares about giant whistles.” For all we know, this phycological damage could have been prevented if whistle use was banned from educational environments starting at grade school.
With growing concerns, students and parents are starting to wonder when enough is enough. It is vital that we bring an end to whistle use on SCHS campus in order to protect the well-being of the student body!
*This article is satire for our April Fool’s edition and is meant for entertainment only.
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