Creative Writing – “FIFTEEN”

By: Oyuky Bahena | Writer

September 11, 2018

FIFTEEN

yellow is my favorite color,

because it radiates

warmth, vibrance, happiness

everything that i aspire to not only have,

but also be.

 

one thing i will never tell you

is how i’m feeling truly,

because the truth is,

i don’t even know how i feel,

so i can’t quite explain it to someone else

 

but the world feels like it’s either spinning too fast or not at all

and i can’t do anything to stop it, so i just watch

i watch and watch as the days pass by in front of my eyes

and the time slips through my fingertips and into a vortex of some sort, somewhere.

i stand and watch as everything unravels itself in front of me

and yet it feels as if nothing has happened

and the day ends even though it feels like it just started

and i cannot remember anything.

 

one thing i will tell you

is how i’m feeling metaphorically,

because, to me, it makes sense,

and so i figure that it will make sense to you as well.

i feel like the color yellow itself,

with its unrelenting enthusiasm,

optimism,

spirit,

energy.

 

yellow cheeks, yellow skin, yellow hair, yellow ears,

yellow lips, yellow eyes, yellow nails, yellow tongue

yellow, yellow, yellow.

why is everything in my life so yellow?

 

why can’t it be red?

or pink?

or green?

or blue?

oh, blue.

 

don’t you see?

i feel trapped.

 

nonetheless, i continue

to try and convince myself that

everything that i have done

has led me up to this point,

to where i am right now,

just as it has done with you,

 

and i am this close to believing it,

but still the dull ache in my heart persists,

 

but i ignore it as

i step back, look up,

and realize that

all i’ve ever been,

and i’ll ever be is

yellow.