Survival Guide to Subs

By: Sydney Burns | Writer

May 9, 2018

You’ve been here before; you’re a veteran now. You walk into class and there’s a sub. Here are the only four possible scenarios for what kind of sub they’re going to be.

The Strict One:

These kinds of subs are the ones that mark you late when you walk in when the bell rings. These subs have the skinny glasses and the button up shirts that scream, “I want to be a teacher so badly.” These subs are not sure how to control teenagers, so they decide that using force is the best option. These subs are the ones that sign up to sub for zero period. These subs start the roll of by licking their finger and flicking the page of their “I am a sub folder.” These subs slaughter everyone’s last name, and the don’t even apologize for it. These subs are deeply scared of teenage rebellion.

The Nice One:

This kind of sub is the one where you walk in the room and you immediately text in the group chat “WE HAVE A SUB *heart eyes*!” This sub starts off the class by saying, “I’ll just wait a couple minutes for everyone that’s running late.” This sub gives you the assignments and just lets you do your thing. This sub walks around the room helping with the busy work that your teacher assigned. This sub doesn’t care if you check your phone for the time. This sub wears bright colors and is almost always named Ashley. This sub is one of the favorite subs, that everyone knows and loves.

The Cute/Dumb One:

This kind of sub is the one that you try to take a snapchat of every time they “aren’t looking.” This kind of sub is the one that comes to the front of class, and the group chat blows up with heart eyes. This sub is majestic until they open their mouth, until you find out that they are indeed, uneducated. These subs lose you busy work, so your teacher just excuses the work that was due. This sub is amazing until you realize that their cuteness was not worth doing work for nothing.

The Retired One:

This sub has a newspaper handy and headphones in. This sub reekes of Foldgers and has a million snacks. This sub doesn’t even take roll, and you get called into the office for a truancy. This sub doesn’t even take look at any of the students for the entire period. With this sub you are lucky if he even tells you what your teacher wants you to do. This teacher is fairly old, and they are only subbing because they want some extra spending money. Everyone knows who this sub is.

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