Tyler Pearce | Head Editor
March 31, 2023
In a bold move for equality, San Clemente High School has decided to hold separate graduation ceremonies for those with GPAs above and below 4.0*.
San Clemente, CA — In an effort to address the heated debate surrounding the tradition of graduating in white robes for those with GPAs above 4.0, San Clemente High School has announced that it will host two separate graduation ceremonies this year. The decision comes after a heated town hall meeting, where passionate advocates for both sides of the “White Robe War” demanded the right to celebrate their academic achievements in their own way.
“I think this is a great compromise,” Principal Carter may have said. “We don’t want to create an environment where our students feel divided, so instead, we’re going to have two completely separate events that are essentially identical, in spirit.”
San Clemente High School’s first graduation ceremony will be a traditional event, with students donning their school’s red and black colors. The second ceremony, however, will be a “White Robe Extravaganza,” where students with GPAs
above 4.0 can bask in their accomplishments while surrounded by an all-white décor, complete with a white carpet runway for graduates to make their special entrance. The white robe scholars also have an opportunity to give a one-minute speech if they wish. This opportunity is thanks to the smaller number of graduates being eligible to attend the White Robe Extravaganza graduation ceremony. However, the students graduating during the other base-level graduation ceremony will not be able to give speeches due to their lack of educational achievements.
We love how inclusive and caring San Clemente High School is. The students and parents love to see the school taking initiative on a long-lived divisive issue. Look, we understand that some people think wearing a white robe is elitist; But at the end of the day, we’re trying to create an environment where everyone can feel celebrated. So if you don’t like the white robes, then don’t worry, feel free to join the generic graduation ceremony.
*This article is satire for our April Fool’s edition and is meant for entertainment only.
Leave a Reply