Everything You DON’T Want to Do for Valentine’s Day!


By: Camryn Ostrander | Writer/Photographer  &  Kenzie McKinnon | Writer  &  Zack Gardner | Photographer

February 6, 2017

Valentine’s Day- you either can’t stand it, hate it, or want to disappear from the face of the earth at the mention of pouring all kinds of love into one day. In other words, whether you’re floating on Cloud 9 or maintaining a non-existent, yet healthy, relationship with your dog… love sucks and so does the month devoted to it. However, after much preparation, here’s a few tips to arm yourself with what exactly NOT to do to make an almost perfect Valentine’s Day.

For those who are happily involved with a significant other, and love the idea of a candle-lit dinner, this big “N.O.” is pointing fingers at you. Tea-light candles along with the combo of open windows and hanging coats is a major no- go. Unfortunately, this experience had to be learned the hard way as an anonymous source shared, “I wanted to do something special for my (ex) girlfriend, so I went and bought a ton of tea-light candles.”

Little did the source know that a romantic breeze and petite, scentless candles don’t mix well.

Although an excessive amount of tiny tea-lights seemed like a good idea, the source revealed,“It wasn’t until my date arrived, that I noticed the smoke crawling out from under the door.”

At the end of the day, this once brilliant idea resulted in the loss of a nice coat and a relationship that wasn’t worth the flame. By all means, the moment must have seemed like a “wild-fire,” but don’t take the risk with this idea. Ultimately, this Valentine’s day blueprint didn’t “blow over” well…

Suggestion: In order to not end the night in flames, try ordering battery-operated candles for your display, along with the subtle addition of rose petals rather than an uncontrollable breeze. This way your date is sure to be running into your arms rather than the firefighter saving both you, your Valentine, and your apartment from an ashy end.

Another Valentine’s Day violation involves being overly prepared, only to get instantly let down when your date chooses their mother over you. Nothing’s wrong with being “momma’s favorite,”
however when it comes to a designated night with your special someone, well, the best thing not to do is leave them for the dinner she was gonna serve as leftovers on February 15th.IMG_2264

Moreover, a San Clemente High junior explained, “The worst thing isn’t getting rejected for another girl, but for their own mother… Never again will I plan on doing something special for my Valentine until they understand the value of the effort put into an unskillfully made dinner.” Sadly, our source has learned from the past, and now plans to celebrate Valentine’s with a box of chocolate and a full season of “Gilmore Girls”… because, honestly, who needs a valentine when realistically we are all more of  a Netflix and “chow” kind of people.

So, grab your chips and dip and let the (lonesome) Valentine’s Day festivities begin.

Suggestion: Don’t spend the time making a dinner that’s going to end up in the trash when you find out a bean and cheese burrito was chosen over a month’s worth of dedicated planning and an episode of “Iron Chef.” To avoid this type of Valentine’s fail, skip the frozen food section and make your way to the candy aisle. This way all your hopes and dreams for the month can effortlessly be fulfilled.

In addition to overly babied boyfriends and the appearance of the county fire department at what was supposed to be a romantic dinner, comes the “Third Wheel.” Now, you may think that you’re simply being considerate to your bestie’s feelings, so you subconsciously count her in on your Valentine celebration. However, as almost anyone would advise, “Your boo, wants you and ONLY you.” To some extent, this is understandable- but unfortunately, this experience was one made for the books as there was no other way to learn but through a spine-chilling, and utterly awkward way.

So, as one of San Clemente’s love-struck senior’s shared, “I didn’t know what exactly to do with my ex-girlfriend’s best friend other then include her in our movie night cuddles.” Needless to say, keep the cuddle buddy list to a maximum of two.

Suggestion: Avoiding the jealously-enraged death stare will be easy to do, as long as you remind “bae” to keep their besties at home. Better yet, hint and aggressively suggest your best buds to a night of binge watching “Grey’s Anatomy” and gift them with cartons of Ben and Jerry’s. That way, you and your “love-bug” can enjoy a snuggle-filled night without the unwanted addition of sob-filled sighs of loneliness.


Although “love” is not a field of expertise amongst the average high schooler, advice on how to not go about it the wrong way is crucial in order to survive the endless month of love. Ultimately, if you don’t know where to start, and plan on making this day special, begin with what NOT to do, and you’re already halfway to getting a “happily ever after.”

To say the least, stay away from flames, excessively convincing mothers, and third wheels. Whether you’re spending this year in a strict relationship with Netflix and food, or taking it above and beyond for your special someone, good luck and Happy Valentine’s!

1 Comment on Everything You DON’T Want to Do for Valentine’s Day!

  1. Great spin on a classic “what to do on valentine’s day” article. Loved the funny stories and clever word choices. Overall awesome job on Kenzie and Camryn’s part. 🙂

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